i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
