you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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