I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
