Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
