He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
