I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
this is an emotional support booty call
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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