weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
