who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Randomize
