i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
