Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
organizing the empties. That sober.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Randomize