if i died would you start the facebook group?
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
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