Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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