Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
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