Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
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