Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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