Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
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