I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
