never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Randomize
