She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
