Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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