If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
