I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
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