he wants to bone in the snuggie
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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