He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
