She is in my trunk
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Randomize
