Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
