don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I understand Curling. That high.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Randomize
