Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize