Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
