Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
