.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.