just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
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Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
In other news, I just burned my penis
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wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???