ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
