Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
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