Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
so much tequila, so little girl.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
