you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
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