nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I touched a dick in church today
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
