I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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