mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Randomize
