Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
