I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
