Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
