CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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