I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
