A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
