We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Randomize
