She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
