the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
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