At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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