but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
P.S. I can't hear my feet
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Randomize
