If i come over, it means nothing
How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
