I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Randomize
