Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
