do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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