We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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