Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Randomize
