Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Randomize
