My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
