ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Randomize
