if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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