I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Randomize